Celebrities know how to make parenting look glamorous with their staged Instagram shots, snapback bodies, and perfect hair. If you’re not careful, you can easily lose sight of the fact that motherhood is a rollercoaster ride for us all — whether you have 75 followers or 75,000 followers.
Enter Gabrielle Union-Wade.
Though scrolling through her beautifully curated Instagram feed may give you the impression that she’s killing the game out in these mommy streets, the Breaking In actress has no qualms with letting you know something that you probably already know:
Motherhood is hard AF.
Just a few months ago, the actress was forced to report to work while sleep deprived due to daughter Kaavia James’ fussy nighttime episodes and unpredictable sleep patterns.
“She’s like, ‘F-ck your sleep. F-ck my sleep.’ It’s annoying,” Union-Wade confessed to Glamour back in April.
According to the New York & Company designer, there was typically no rhyme nor reason for little Kaavia’s episodes other than the fact that she just needed to cry.
If you’re unfamiliar, most babies go through a phase of unexplained evening fussiness and crying known as “the witching hour.” You can read more about that and find solutions for how to cope here.
“I’ve gotten to the point where I’m OK with her crying,” Union-Wade confessed. “I’ve just gotten used to it. You know, on the airplane they’re like, ‘You’ve got to put your mask on first.’ But the guilt of feeling like there’s nothing else I can think to do….”
Of course, just hearing your baby scream for hours and not being able to do anything about it is traumatizing and guilt-inducing for any mother.
“I don’t even know if I’m feeling guilt or fear or exhaustion,” she explained. “I don’t know. I feel nuts.”
On top of all of that, the actress, who welcomed Kaavia in November of 2018 via surrogate, admitted that she still struggles with guilt over being unable to carry her daughter in the traditional way.
“I’ll see a pregnant woman and I just feel like, Damn, you know? I’ll ask myself, Would my relationship with her be different?” Eventually, the feeling subsides. “And then I go home and have a whole-ass baby.”
Unions transparency just goes to show that motherhood is immensely challenging –no matter your walk of life– and mom guilt affects us all, but the very existence of our kiddos is what gives us the motivation we need to go on.
