Potty training requires time, patience, and consistency. Add working motherhood to the equation with a traditional 9-5 schedule and you’ve got quite the venture ahead of you. I first began attempting to potty train my oldest daughter, Winter, a little before her first birthday. And in hindsight, I feel that my approach was all wrong, which is why it took us multiple failed attempts before we finally found success. Initially, my perception was that potty training was a longer, more drawn-out process. I expected that it would take months to teach her to use the bathroom. Due to this flawed thinking, this is exactly what happened. My first few attempts dragged on for what felt like forever. After a few failed rounds, I implemented some simple changes or “hacks,” which helped us to fully train her within a consecutive three-day window.
Ditch the disposable training pants
The single most game-changing element of our successful potty training attempt was when I stopped putting my daughter in disposable training pants. During that three-day window, we were mostly indoors and she spent daytime hours in panties. For whatever reason, many toddlers don’t mind going in disposable training pants because they feel very similar to diapers. Once I changed my daughter into panties, she was no longer okay with urinating or defacting on herself. Anytime she discharged, it was an immediate reminder that she needed to be on the potty. After a few accidents, a lightbulb went off that she needed to let me know when felt the urge to pee or poo. We only used disposable training pants at bedtime.
Invest in thick, washable toddler training pants
The best money I ever spent during this potty training journey was on thick, washable training underwear. Due to their thickness, they helped to cut down on the clean-up needed when those inevitable accidents happened. However, since they’re fabric, they still make it uncomfortable for toddlers when they have accidents, offering a further incentive for them to tell mom or dad when they have to go potty.
Use a potty seat, not a stand-alone potty
Stand-alone potties are adorable, but they’re honestly a waste of time and space. Instead, just grab an inexpensive potty seat that you can place on top of your toilet seat.
When we first started potty training, I believed that I needed bells and whistles to make it happen. I logged onto Amazon and purchased this super-complicated potty with sound effects. While great in concept, it was not a good or practical product. I didn’t like the idea of having to clean pee or poo from the pan either. I eventually just settled on a simple potty seat that rested on top of the regular toilet. This helped to cut down on clean-up and made it easier to get on the toilet in a hurry. It also eliminated the need for another transition once potty training was complete because she was already used to going on the grownup potty.
Accept the mess
There’s no such thing as potty training without a mess. Let’s just make that crystal clear. But when you decide to forgo the pull-up stage, it’s going to get even messier. That’s okay, though. Keep the end goal in mind.
Show grace and patience
I probably sound like a broken record, but accidents are going to happen. Do not criticize or even speak negatively when your child has an inevitable accident. They will likely feel bad enough. My go-to response became, “That’s okay. Accidents happen. Let’s get you cleaned up and in some new training pants.”
Ultimately, every child is different and with even the best hacks, potty training won’t happen until your little one is good and ready. For context, the CDC advises that most children are not ready for toilet training until they are between 2 and 3 years old. Despite my initial flawed approach, Winter had been showing that she was ready for potty training for months, which is the only reason any of this worked. Once I adjusted my strategy, she flourished because she was ready. The following Monday, I nervously sent her to daycare in her toddler-training undies and my girl didn’t have a single accident.
Photo by William Fortunato
