One thing that surprises new parents is the large number of visitor requests that come rolling in immediately after they welcome a new baby. While it can be extremely heartwarming that so many want to share in the joy of your newest addition, it can also be extremely overwhelming. Not only are you physically recovering from delivery, but you’re also learning to care for a brand new human — one who probably isn’t sleeping very well at night.
What many don’t take into account about postpartum visits is that, despite being sleep deprived, many new parents still feel immense pressure to be good hosts and hostesses. They want to welcome guests into a tidy home. They want to offer beverages and refreshments. They want to look presentable. They want to appear jovial and inviting when deep down inside they’re emotionally drained, exhausted, frustrated, afraid, and maybe even depressed. Now multiply those feelings by five, 10, 15, or however many people are waiting in line to visit. It’s all extremely taxing.
Postpartum visits often become a major source of stress for many new parents because they don’t believe that they can say no without offending. However, the truth is you can. Most reasonable people understand the pressure new parents are under — and the folks who can’t understand, you probably don’t want around during that time anyway. Here are our tips for politely declining postpartum visits without damaging relationships.
Tell them early
If you’re anything like me, when there’s an uncomfortable conversation to be had, I put it off for as long as humanly possible. When it comes to postpartum visits, you’ll want to avoid doing this for a few reasons. For one, it makes you look flaky when you wait until the last minute. You want to be respectful of your loved ones’ time and their plans. You don’t want them canceling appointments and turning down invitations in order to come to visit you only for you to shut them down the day of. There are some people who will unreasonably be in their feelings regardless of when you tell them, so don’t give those people a leg to stand on by waiting too long to tell them that you won’t be having visitors.
Read our full post at Madame Noire.
